Lessons Learned

A few months ago.....

Me: I feel fat :(
Him: I pun! (whining like a girl too)
Me: Am i really fat?
Him: Why dont we hit the gym together! (eagerly and enthusiastically!!)


I....went outrageous... If we werent just talking over the phone, I would have bitten his head off..grrr!

Gentlemen please, there is only one RIGHT answer to the question, every time. At the very very least, offer a simple, sincere-sounding "No!" then, change the subject...

Solutions are not welcomed in this case and suggesting that I should lose weight or even 'we' should lose weight is not quite acceptable..



On a related note, I'm currently feeling bloated a.k.a FAT, ugly, cranky and depressed for no apparent reason- I must be PMS-ing.. one minute I think everything is just wonderful, then PMS strikes..

The only thing I wish I can do right now, other than curling up in my bed sleeping & crying, is to press the fast-forward button so that i can just skip PMS and hit the period fast..

Any smart man knows that handling PMS means taking it easy on his lady during this time to avoid getting his head bitten off in a premenstrual rage. I am bound to be a bit moody at the very least but a little understanding on Fariz's part did go a long way..thank God..In spite of some carelessness here and there, Fariz has been great..keeping head down, he knows it is in his best interest not to push the wrong buttons, figure me out and take it like a man...

I dont think he even realized this, but he has helped so much by not pointing out and blaming that I'm PMS-ing, even if I'm saying I am..I love the way he gets me to talk about how I feel and the way he validates them..especially by telling me how 'normal' my feelings are...and that he would have felt the same way if he's me..

and Fariz sure did learn fast. After committing a few mistakes, he has now figured out exactly the right things to say and the most decent responses to my typical absurd questions, though I know he still feels like walking on eggshells, carefully trying not to say anything that might offend me..Fariz can probably never say enough comforting words, compliments, or loving phrases to satisfy and soothe the monster within me at times like this..but what counts is his unswerving patience when making such effort to reassure me..

In return for being truly amazing and for always giving his best, I secretly promise to always try to give him the best of me, too...at a deeper level, I do have the fear of not meeting his expectations and desires..I want nothing more other than to make him as happy as I am...he deserves it more than anyone else, he really does..
at least in some ways, I have finally come to terms with myself about PMS /hmm

• PMS is no excuse for starting an argument and picking up fights
• PMS is no excuse for being disrespectful/ rude
  
• PMS is no excuse for manipulation
• PMS is no excuse for physical violence

I figured out that shouting or yelling at Fariz when I get angry at him makes him feel challenged and only leads to rocketing his ego sky high..which is not helpful at all when im trying to make him listen to me and what I've got to say...but crying and a little whimpering seems to make Fariz a wee bit weak ..I can almost hear his heart softens. He listens much attentively and responds amazingly better to whatever s*** I have got to throw at him ..so now i know if i want attention and to be heard, i must sob*sob* and speak /please It works wonders! hehehe

Truly, i think we have been doing well..it feels like ages since I irrationally run amok and forcing Fariz to raise his voice towards me.. Indeed, love and Fariz is the answer to my motivation for becoming a much better person..

i think i have finally found my other half, the one who complements me in every way..

I cannot wait to throw myself into his arms TOMORROW!

xxx