the world on a string

As the new year approaches and when many people feel the need to hit the reset button of their life, I wish mine to rewind a year back and repeat. The past 12 months have brought a fair share of good lessons, happy moments and most importantly hope. Love and luck stood by me..Fariz and I are ready to take the next big step in our journey together. But even though the year ahead promises to be very exciting, somehow I'm a lil bit upset to see 2010 end here..what if lady luck suddenly decides to deceive me?

and owh if you're wondering, I'm not really one of those resolution makers, coz for one, they're not my thing. Resolutions are meaningless blurbs. Probably because I set crazy goals, like promising myself to spend less hours surfing the net or to not buy anymore shoes??! to wake up early in the morning (which I tell myself to do every night before I sleep, but I never did)..It is like making a promise that I don't want to make..or saying maybe or I'll try..why write a depressing list of things to do? You know at least your resolutions must be something you WANT to do instead of just something you better off doing..know what I mean?

and I usually live for the day, taking one thing at a time. Planning ahead is not my forte. When I really have a pile of things to do and started complaining, Fariz will make me write my to-do-list and that really, is the closest I get to being organized. I mean, even in other areas of life~ like shopping, I don't make lists. I trust my instinct, I follow my heart and do what any girl in a candy shop would do~ buy whatever I feel like buying! simply because I act on impulse rather than thought. and nowadays, the furthest I get to planning is always about what to wear tomorrow or what and where to eat. though another exception is probably the wedding~ which I tell you I am only the least bit enjoying it coz it involves a lot of shopping and spending m$n$y that I either don't have or that are not mine.. hahah

So anyway here I am, welcoming 2011 with arms wide open and totally (not so) ready for whatever it has in store to offer. I've heard that good things don't last, but we will inshaAllah.. I expect much awesomeness to ensue once Fariz and me step up to be man and wife.. at the end, what I really want boils down to mostly two major things; I just want to stay in love and be happy :)

"Samantha Jones: Relationships aren't just about being happy.
I mean, how often are you happy in your relationship?
Charlotte York: Every day.
Samantha Jones: Every day?
Charlotte York:Well, not all day every day but yes, every day."

Sex and the city, 2008

Perfectly, exactly how I feel
No other way can better describe it


I love you Sayang,
Yay! to a happy new year ahead xxx

love is no playground

Oh YES I will!!

1. because when I love somebody as much as I love you, getting married is the only thing left to do
2. because its funny how we actually got this far after all the misunderstandings, miscommunications and every damn fight, right?
   
3. because we grow so much together, especially sideways :p
4. because I want to feed and fatten you up!! I can't be the fat one in this relationship, now can I?
5. because I am done kissing frogs..and yada yada none of them but you, actually turned into a real prince! All men are frogs until you set them free. hahaha
   
6. because you understand me (or pretend to) when I hardly make any sense which is more than half of the time
   
7. and you love me for me regardless of how difficult that might be
8. because you have never ever got mad at me (no matter how hard I deliberately try to make you to)
9. because you are lucky that I am not even half as sassy now as I used to be!
   
10. because I am tired of sleeping with magazines or books and waking up alone
    
11. because it bloody gets me on my nerves when people interrogated me with the intrusive 'when are you getting married' question when all they actually wanted to know is if I am getting married at all. Now a polite answer to this fairly rude question is easy. HAH!
    
12. because I don't want to grow old and die alone
13. because I want you to tell me that I'm pretty everyday :)
14. because you like me even without make-up
15. because I want to make you breakfast and make your bed. If I ever resolute to wake up early enough, that is
    
16. because you are my rock, my baby, my lover, my crying shoulder, my driver, my partner in crime, my shopping buddy, my bank-er, my soldier, my cameraman, my entertainment, my happiness, my bestfriend forever
    
17. because I am a shopaholic and you're a workaholic. I can help you spend the money you make because shopping is what I do best
    
18. because I can make you cute babies with a hint of Eurasian mix
    
19. because you've mastered the art of reading my mind. You know when yes means yes and yes means no and no means yes and when a no is a no
20. because you value the fact that I speak femininity instead of reality.You know when I scream LEAAVE that actually means come back, talk and pujuk me until I feel better now! right? and when I say 'I don't want to talk to you' it means totally the opposite! <-- keep this in mind, always will you?
    
21. because I need a fat durable punching bag to throw tantrums at..and you're one :)
    
22. because you have high tolerance to PMS, my mood swings and bridezilla attacks! ~ tested and true hehehe
23. because nothing beats my love towards you, with all my heart and handbags and whole wardrobe and shoes
24. because being with you is the closest I get to being a Princess. Did you grow up in Disneyland or something!! Did you?
    
25. because you're not one in a million, but you're the only one :)
26. because at 26, love is no playground. Dating isn't exactly my idea of fun anymore when a marriage is :)

more love

To: Fariz~ lotsa lotsa l.o.v.e and more

which one are you?

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need
you have expressed.

They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with
guidance and support,

To aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.

They may even teach you, LOVE

Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time,

this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an
end..

Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.

Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.

perhaps your need has been met, your desire
fulfilled and so their work is done.

The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.



Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has
come to share, grow or learn.

They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.

They may teach you something you have never done.

They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.

Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.
God probably has bigger plans for you

and there’s no need to miss those from your past

There’s a reason they didn’t make it to your future



LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons,

things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional
foundation.

Your job is to accept the lesson,

love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other
relationships and areas of your life.

It is said that love is blind but what's meant to be will always be
and it will find its way

source: email

one less lonely girl

"Absence sharpens LOVE
Presence strengthens it"

Yeay! Fariz is back :)

Here's to happy hearts!

catching up

07/12/2010 09:28:22
I love you. U kan princess dlm hati i. So i akan berusaha utk bwat u happy wlpun i bz. I feel bad bile xdpt bwat u happy. Im sorry k sayang. I nak masuk meeting balik, nnt I call u lg. Miss u baby! I love u so much!

:)
This is what I call reassurance.
I love the way it helps to settle my spirit just like the usual way it does.
thank you Sayang

I'll stop checking my phone for awhile then

Day 6: Not enjoying the silence

I am a big fan of cliches~ but not for this one. coz well, it doesn't ring true..

the past few days haven't been any easier emotionally than last week. I have been putting off blogging because I can't seem to pull myself out of this funk. I thought if I give me some time, things will improve or maybe my outlook would change and I really, really want this post to be the one where I can say that I am alive and happily kicking. But alas, truth is I continue to reside in the bitter barn..

and as much as I dream of a successful hard working man to make a husband, Fariz 's work is showing no signs of slowing down and as he continues to pull away to focus on work, I came to a depressing concern that we're slowly becoming emotionally distant..are we? are we Sayang?

For one thing, the fact that he is not available for texting or calling during the day, results in me wanting it more. I want to try to fill the void by hearing from him more than just our goodnight chat. I want to hear from him throughout the day. I want to know if he is okay, I want to know where he went, what he had for lunch and how he feels. Most of all, I want to know if he is thinking about me and if he misses me at all...

You and I

Finding new music and discovering that new favourite song, it makes me feel just like falling in love again..Since its been awhile that I last shared a video, here's one. It isn't exactly new but I just realised how cute the lyrics are, so have a listen ...

Don't you worry there my honey
We might not have any money
But we've got our love to pay the bills

Maybe I think you're cute and funny
Maybe I wanna do what bunnies do with you if you know what I mean

Oh lets get rich and buy our parents homes in the south of France
Lets get rich and give everybody nice sweaters and teach them how to dance
Lets get rich and build a house on a mountain making everybody look like ants
From way up there, you and I, you and I

:)

Day 2: the long awaited call

The telephone reception was very poor when Fariz called. All I really heard was him chanting he misses me, over and over again. And before we hung up I think all we said was 'I love you (too)' about a hundred times more than usual.


Aside from the long awaited call, nothing else special happened :(

Isn't it funny how sometimes when ONE person is missing, the whole world seems depopulated?

I miss you so much too Sayang

and just like you want me to, I am reflecting on the days when you are near and I took you for granted

So, lets 'fight less and love more' when you come back k? :p

sorry this is a terribly unrelated photo. but I still want to put one, hence~..

Day 1: Good night nobody

I'm all tucked up in bed, meaning to be asleep a good hour ago, but my sleepy time doesn't seem to be doing the trick

why?

Let it be known that Fariz is away on a business trip. The land down under is still awaiting his arrival but I am already wishing that he would come back to the radar and talk to me now :(

Isn't it nice to have someone who will always answer your call, just like how you would always answer theirs?..

It is getting a little bit too lonely here. I hope Fariz will land safe and soundly and quickly give me my usual dose of night call

Oh well.

For us, it’s one of those things that we have to go through to be stronger

and this time round it is LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP for real

hell yea..
Bring it on! Pfffttt!!

me and my wedding woes

All I want is to be a Princess for a day. Just one day.

but the wedding planning and whatnot suddenly seems daunting and on the spur of the moment I am worried about how my dress would look like, the shoes I would wear (I already bought two sparkly new shoes but still not totally happy), the invitations, the favors and gifts, the dais and deco, my bridesmaids and their dresses, the food, the music.. and now on top of that all, I wonder if all of the pieces that I stress so much picking out would actually come together cohesively.. will they? and what if they don't?

In all truthfulness when it comes down to it what I really want now is to nikah, scrrrrrraaaaaaap the whole bersanding and kenduri shit and straight away get on to moving in together...(after all that is the ultimate goal!)

but then again a little voice inside of me tells me not to give up that dream. I am only going to be doing this once and I don't have control over much else, especially on the happenings of the day itself and the days after...

owh I am torn

why are weddings so difficult?!

from a fiancee to a wife, and a bridezilla in between :(

the sunrise on your face

It was a day entirely filled with shopping..in and out of malls and stores. I was elated, what more could a girl want than a terribly girly spending spree in two shopping malls at a time? we were there at the MV and the Gardens since eleven and we left just before the stores begin to shut. but at one point halfway, Fariz got a little tired of too much walking that we decided to head back to the car for his little nap :)

So this is Fariz, snoozing Zzz and then awaken by me..oooops!
his eyes widen slightly and he smiled..

you know a picture is good when it makes you *melt*

and owh

yes you are Sayang

Need I even tell you the reason I am in love?

Get mad then get over it

When feeling angry, hold back but do not quell. The trick is not to completely ignore your anger, but to express it in a healthy manner.. Communicate why you’re feeling angry but stand against the urge to say things for the sole purpose of causing hurt and inflicting pain. because some words, once spoken can never be taken back, they echo in the minds and hang in the air.....


p/s: Sorry for the horrible things I've said :'(

of being 26 so far

a bouquet of surprise

when I least expect it :)

Fariz sent me a dozen of beautiful, long-stemmed red roses and got it delivered to my office

Owh.my.God.how.sweeyt of you.. two

Two? why two?

Well, I'm not going to spill all the juicy details here of course, especially when I am still way too giddy with happiness even a thousand words cannot begin to describe exactly how I feel.

Suffice to say that I have the TWO most wonderful people in my life that keeps me going. and only I know why :)

anyhooo, thank you Sayang for bringing the bliss to me for my birthday this year. To best describe you, I shall say that you are the living proof of Prince Charming. I don't know what I did to deserve you, but you're in love with me and I am with you too! It would have been much better if you were there to surround me, but it was a good (and successful) surprise nonetheless. So surprise I was, that I had no expectations for any bolt from the blue. Just where did the girlfriend instinct go??!

and thank you Miss Angel Chee Lee Yin for making it all happen (and for the cake at lunch too). You did so much for me again this time. If only you weren't a girl..I swear I will be marrying you too!

one fine day

As Fariz drove home today, we talked about the perks of living together and being married, one fine day..hehehe

what is the thing about being married that you look forward to the most?

it was a 'test' question coz I wanted to find out how much he would like to be married to me..

apart from the very obvious response anyone will give, Fariz answered this question perfectly :)

He simply wants a wife that makes life ...work!

swing the spinning steps

I am feeling exceptionally content today :) Surprisingly no bundling anger. A handful of very dear friends and a little much-needed retail therapy are sometimes all I need to keep me going :)

it feels good too, to be able to give Fariz a little break from having to spend so much time trying to settle me down and put me to rest at bedtime..

and so while I am at this, I might as well just share this with you..In case you are in one of those funks where nothing feels quite right, I want to make you feel better too :)

Count your garden by the flowers,
Never by the leaves that fall;

Count your days by golden hours,
Don't remember clouds at all.

Count your age by friends, not foes.

and Count your blessings instead of woes!!

a literal BFF

One of the perks of being engaged and a bride-to-be is I get to see a lot more of Fariz than before :) there are just more excuses reasons to spend time together, bridal fairs & expos to visit, people such as the wedding vendors and photographers to meet..and yes hunting for our long-list of hantaran gifts too (read: shopping)~ always the fun part :)

Fariz too gets treated better and more seriously since he is the "fiance" as opposed to my "date". Mommy became a wee bit more permissive about us 'going out and meeting up' and so my monthly (now weekly/fortnightly) trips to KL invites less inquiries which can get too pesky sometimes..blaarrgh.. And on some nights when he takes me out I even get my midnight curfew extended :)

In other news, both Fariz and I have swimmingly survived the super-boring-droning pre-marital course over the previous weekend. Aside from a couple of very funny Ustadz, some of the talks were Oh my god such a snooze-fest. Fariz even managed to doze off a little on the uncomfortable metal chair with minimal cushion padding. Either that or I saw him dawdling the hours away with his iPhone. I wouldn't say that it was a complete waste of time, but it wasn't exactly a lot of fun either..but as off right now, at least we're happy that we've completed one of the many things on our to-do-list.

Can't believe how much hassle it is to just get legally wed. but then again, to be getting married to the love of my life, it's going to be well worth all the trouble, right?

What does being married means to you?

A literal BFF: For eternity, you’ll have someone to be a kid with, take road trips with, cry and laugh with, make decisions with, and tell everything to.

owh..
I
cannot
wait.

Wordless Wednesday: Rainbow after Rainfall

And here comes the Sun :)

of date night

Did I tell you that Fariz has successfully put together a divine datenivessary treat ? :) The food was exquisite, the weather was nice and I was over the moon..it's a big thing for both of us considering that in our relationship I am the person who gets to dictate what and where to eat, every time and all the time..heheh..

I had a good weekend. I just wish it was longer!! like they say, nothing beats quality time in real-time, real life!

one year and counting

and a little less than six months to go before we will be man and wife!!?
Oh my goodness! How did it get here so fast?

the best 1 year of my life

Fariz and I met today, exactly a year ago...

And little that I know, that marked the beginning of the best time of my life. Wooot!

Sometimes, Fariz talks about how he wish our path had crossed earlier. That would have saved us a great deal of heartache. If I can have my life printed as a book, the one year that I've spent with Fariz will be the chapter right after the climax. The chapter where turning points take place and where my character gets a redemption arc. To explain that would require me to first delve into what happened before I met him. but that is history which I no longer want to ever look back on. Love lessons learned only makes our faith way stronger and good things fall apart so that better things comes together, don't they?

and all of you might have known this, but eat my dust coz I'm telling you again anyway..

I have a BIG MAD FAT crush on my darling...for one thing, he is not just your average amount of nice; he has mastered the art of chivalry and is so patient that it makes my soul squirm ..Ever heard of a 'four-leaf clover'? HARD TO FIND and LUCKY TO HAVE. I know for a fact that I've got one and I can call him MINE :)

Happy Dateniversary Sayang!

Pre-wedding (part 1) teaser

bright future lies ahead of us :)

Do you know what makes a man, a man?

it is when he can juggle around between a super freaking annoying girlfriend, weekend Master classes and his job (a very demanding one, if I may add)

and when his hard work always pays off well and he is still having fun

I mean, I am happy, coz he keeps me so
and he is doing so well at work, that it even makes me jealous, huh
and now look!

shit. he is good

and I think intelligence is sexy too
*melts*

ok now another 2 semesters to go
I know you can do it baby!
I promise to be nicer to you and not get in your way when you're working
and I will stop you from procrastinating and make you do your homework ON TIME too!

I am so proud of you
LOVE YOU SO MUCH!

Love is a circle that goes on and on and on

I am aware that I have been absent from posting for awhile. Sadly, it was an unintentional sabbatical. September was horribly busy and guess what? I am here, just for the sake of it but still not quite in the right state of mind to blog yet. So until I have the time and inclination to write a nice long-ass post, stay tuned folks :)

anyway , do you still remember how immensely endearing Fariz is?
This is just a reminder, look...
*melt*



The great man is he who does not lose his child's heart

-Mencius

the last Eid as bachelorette

Believe it or not, despite anticipating the end of Ramadan and becoming increasingly excited about Eid, 1st day of Syawal can sometimes be my least favourite day.

hmm..It used to be

here's why:

• First, pre-Eid cooking and spring cleaning the house is bad enough
• Second, waking up early in the morning is totally, totally not my forte
• Third, when there's this icy cold shower offer attached to the deal (because none of my grandparents have water heater installed at their homes) it is doubly annoying
• Fourth, having to wrestle myself into the 'telekung' (the white prayer dress thing) for Eid prayer at the mosque while being half-asleep is also none too enjoyable an experience
• Fifth, I dread the 'meet and greet' sessions with uncles and aunties and extended relatives which involves re-heating the 'rendang', re-filling cookie jars and re-making teapots of coffee and tea over and over again..and not to mention~ the endless washing up part in the kitchen that follows
• Sixth, the whole task of Eidis, yeah those little green packet-of-money thing..I was never too bothered about them anyway, be it me the one who's receiving or giving

and there are more, a whole lot more (some of which are too personal and shall remain unrevealed) but I think you get the idea as to why Eid to me is more like a battle I unwillingly HAD to throw myself into now, don't you?

But anyway, as much as I have taken a dislike to Eid, I still hope that I will somehow or rather grow out of it..It is easy to admit that I am less of a domestic goddess and perfect hostess that anyone would think I might be..

but a girl has got to do what a girls' got to do, right?

It's probably about time that I learn to be an adult and act like one because after all, the next Ramadhan and Eid would be the first of many for me, as a married woman, as a wife. I believe, some firsts would last an entire lifetime, while others would take away what I've had and grown accustomed to for the past twenty six years of my life..

which on a similar note, I noticed that Fariz has been hinting me the whole time as it seems, that Eid at his side, won't be as peaceful as I wish it would be..it will be a lot busier and noisier

and just how adventurous will that be?

then again there goes, the idea of getting married just became a tad more scarier..It's not going to be easy to mix well together for a lifetime, will it?

Marriage is the union of two people who come from different upbringing and background – possibly two people with different personalities and attitudes – who have different takes on life..

that aside, here let me continue to bore you with some snippets of my first day of Eid..but don't be surprised by how I look..I simply cannot resist smiling for the camera..dressing up and taking photos are what Eid is all about to me :)

welcome back

Taf is on his way home from London..to spend his last bit of summer with us...

sometimes I still miss the feeling of studying abroad
sigh..

and its been a while since the last time I find work rewarding
and I've accomplished something..

shall I go back studying?

(but PhD sounds too scary.. :s)

mini shopaholic

Aside from handbags and shoes (and scarves, and accessories, and tops and cosmetics etc) I am also an avid book buyer..arguably, you may say that I love splurging on books more than I love reading them, since there are tons of books already lying around my bedroom am yet to read..

but anyway right now I am in the mood for nothing but to snuggle in bed and bash myself with another wittily told romantic fiction and this chick-lit has found its way onto my wish list:

The long-awaited continuation of Shopaholic & Baby!
I am in serious withdrawal of the Shopaholics series and am already reading those I have over and over..(and not to mention engrossed myself repeatedly over the movie too)

speaking of which, I sooo need to get my hands on this...
but I wonder if it's available here, in Malaysia?

does anyone know?
coz I am going to send Fariz off to get one

a weekend oh-not-so-fruitful

In our latest adventure, Fariz and I went out and about for our very first bridal boutique hunt around his area..the initial idea was to get the full gambit of what's out there because, seemingly, Fariz is supremely naive for not having any clue about the whole bridal thing..

and oh boy oh boy, if I must tell you, I wasn't the least bit awed by our findings..almost everything we came across seemed decidedly demoded and outdated.. and I seriously doubt if any of the vendors we met could make our dais stand as nice and neat as to what I envisioned..

could we have actually looked at the wrong place after all??

and speaking of make-up, even if I didn't see the need to spend a real chunk of change on a beauty pro to doll me up, I was still horribly tempted though :( and Fariz was extremely put off to learn how expensive it will cost to hire a make-up artist for his/her service..I swear I saw him practically scratching his not-so-itchy head away and I feel baaaaaaad......

plus not only that, we also came to realized that the other biggest hitch is probably finding my dress of absolute perfect fit..and Fariz's matching attire too because his measurements conflicts with the sample ones that they readily have for rental..

unless if we get ours custom made..
which again I am not so keen of because I am not blessed with the creativity to sketch my own dream dress! and scouting for the right material and design will suck too :( not fun , not fun!!!

sigh........

but at least, after all of that, (I think) Fariz finally gets it that wedding is NOT just a case of turning up with a new haircut and a shave!!

.
.
.
.
.
.

nevertheless, on a happier note..

the highlight of the whole bridal hunting business is us!!
even if at times I feel like I want give up worrying about the wedding, dig a rabbit hole and hide inside, it is always comforting to know that Fariz has an extraordinary patience for me and he is probably even willing to sell his soul to get me all I want..

yeah you heard me..he.will.sell.his.soul

thank you sayang!! :)

dreamily daydreaming

To be completely honest, I would love to pen down every detail of my journey to becoming Mrs. Fariz ..but I am afraid I have to tell you that our wedding preparation isn't exactly under full swing yet to begin with, and my life doesn't revolves around the nuptial alone anyway..

so what the heck?

I'll just write randomly, whenever I feel like it, right?

At the moment, we're quite bogged down with the idea of having a pre-wedding photoshoot..I know it sounds all so cheesy, and perhaps even annoying too ~Imagine a couple skipping through a park or frolicking through flowers, peering around a tree at each other~ but while superfluous, of course, it is yet another modern day wedding trend appearing on the scene in recent years.. It is TRENDY and since everyone is having it, I am sure going to feel a wee bit left out and upset if we don't :(

So, yes in case you still don't know, I am like that..I give in to temptation and peer pressure..looking at how other brides to be are preparing for their big day freaks me out beyond all belief.. that sometimes, it even got me thinking that maybe I should just be banned from blog hopping, googling or the internet all together..because they are doing me more harm than good, it seems..

but the other thing about me is, ONCE I get an idea planted in my head, you can forget about trying to shake it off..unless if I happen to get those lightbulb moments when I suddenly feel different and may want to completely change my mind about something, then I will.. Fortuitously, I know I can make Fariz get me whatever I want ..all I need to do is make the wish, and you bet! for whatever I fall in love with he can learn to love too..hehehe..(told you, he spoils me rotten)

More or less though, I have already envisioned a lot of what I wanted and decided that nothing too elaborate or artsy and expensive like splurging on a high end photographer is necessary..We will be more than happy just to have the photos as a keepsake to look at when we're old, wrinkled and grey..right Sayang?

and in my search for inspiration I found these;

do click on respective links for sources and more pictures

'The notebook' inspired engagement photos:

'500 days of summer' inspired wedding:

'Wonderland' inspired photos

and finally my favourite, inspired by the movie "UP!"

I don't know how we will have ours..or if we'll actually have it at all.. for now, I enjoy the random daydreams I get about the wedding and even if sometimes I know I am making Fariz sick of my impulsive whims, we're still having fun though :)

and anyway, everything I write here are kind of based on sporadic thoughts..so we'll see how thing goes and I sure will let you know!