Sunday, May 30, 2010

walking under the sun

I am blogging from my hotel room when I am supposed to be napping now. Reason being- I was too anxious (in a good way) about seeing Fariz today that I barely had my eyes shut at all last before we go out again, Fariz said I must rest..
but seriously, sleep can wait

and the dark circles under my eyes? who cares? Fariz doesn't

it's been only 7 months, but I am already lost of words
although this actually goes without saying, I must repeat:
Fariz Helmi, you are simply the best boyfie any girl could have asked for ..

Nobody could beat the way you spoil me rotten
I love the way you let me be the princess and..
urrmm you be soldier
and how you always say yesyesyes to my every request and demand
and the way you go to get me, everything I wish for under the sun

but if there is one more thing I must ask you to do for me, that would be..

why does time has to fly at a super confounding speed when we're together? why?! I hate it!!


Friday, May 28, 2010

the long awaited saturday is here!

it has only been 3 weeks since I last saw Fariz, but it sure does feel like years.
I mean, how can I not?

Just the thought of seeing him makes me don't wana do anything else..I am too happy, it makes me lazy..I dont want to move, I dont want to pack, I dont want to think, I just want to daydream about him and how wonderful the weekend will be..

there's probably a truth to the saying that absence makes the heart grow fonder..I love counting down the days to meet keeps me going..but even if there is not, a cliche is a cliche for a reason- its comforting, yes? :)

Thursday, May 27, 2010


When I'm worried and I can't sleep
I count my blessings instead of sheeps

I re-read your texts, browse your pictures, shut my eyes and think of you..then smile to myself and fall in love, head over heels always and again and again

Monday, May 24, 2010

perfect two

Every so often, some little things he say or do, completely overwhelms me and I remember again why I adore him..
he makes my laughter grows and my tears disappear
and I hope his magic stays

please 5 days, please fly faster!!
I cannot stand being apart any longer :(
in the mean time something for the ear
it is too cute, I just got to post it here

You can be the peanut butter to my jelly
You can be the butterflies I feel in my belly
You can be the captain and I can be your first mate
You can be the chills that I feel on our first date

You can be the hero and I can be your side kick
You can be the tear that I cry if we ever split
You can be the rain from the cloud when it's stormin'
Or you can be the sun when it shines in the mornin'

Don't know if you could ever be
Without you cause boy you complete me
And in time I know that we'll both see
That we're all we need

Cause your the apple to my pie
You're the straw to my berry
You're the smoke to my high
And you're the one I wanna marry

Cause you are the one for me (for me)
And I'm the one for you for you (for you)
You take the both of us (of us)
And we're the perfect two

We're the perfect two
We're the perfect two
Baby me and you
We're the perfect two

You can be the prince and I can be your princess
You can be the sweet tooth I can be the dentist
You can be the shoes and I can be the laces
You can be the heart that I spill on the pages

You can be the vodka and I can be the chaser
You can be the pencil and I can be the paper
You can be as cold as the winter weather
But I don't care as long as we're together

Don't know if I could ever be
Without you cause boy you complete me
And in time I know that we'll both see
That we're all we need

You know that I'll never doubt ya
And you know that I think about ya
And you know I can't live without ya

I love the way that you smile
And maybe in just a while
I can see me walk down the aisle

Saturday, May 22, 2010

till I hear you sing

People say that men fall in love through their eyes and women through their ears. Cliché much? but you can actually fall in love with someone just by listening to him sing..
I know, because I did..

Fariz didn't sang perfect that very first time. There were obvious hints of nervousness. But he was lucky coz I was too elated to bother about that..even his guitar probably sounded a little off key, but I didn't care..all I remember was the feeling of a fresh flicker of contentment slowly rising inside of me..he was so endearing and WOW that voice..

Even to date, more often than not, his singing melts my heart in a big a couple of days ago, when I was upset over nothing (as usual) I just couldn't help but to turn into a pathetic gooey mass of mush as he takeoff Adam Sandler and sang ...

I'll miss you, kiss you,
Give you my coat when you are cold.
Need you, feed you.
Even let you hold the remote control.

So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink.
Put you to bed when you've had too much to drink.
Oh I could be the man,
Who grows old with you...


Thursday, May 20, 2010

wake up call

I am very blessed to start with a man who is gifted with an extraordinary patience to talk things through to me..his sense of humour is not his biggest strength now it just hit me.. it is his composure, his ability to stay calm to whatever s*** I have got to throw at him

terrible horrible me

if I were to be really honest, I would have to tell you that I haven't been particularly pleasant to Fariz lately..With that being said, yes I am fully aware that I desperately need to snap out of it. It strains the relationship and I am making him even more exhausted than he already is..

and here's the the beginning of the relationship, I’ve set my goals, but have been doing more thinking and processing than acting on it..and so now I've decided that the resolutions and promises I made to Fariz probably need a little springtime rejuvenation..lets hope, by this way he will at least know that I am still trying :)

Current goal:
To watch more closely what I say, particularly the words I use when I am angry and if I can't say nothin' nice, I shall not say anyhin' at all.

not easy?
but worth trying.definitely.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010


Every day is another opportunity to show Fariz a little extra love and remind him (and maybe myself) of how thankful I am for him...

Monday, May 17, 2010

worry wart

I am a huge worry wart..

asking me not to to worry about things that I'm inclined to worry about simply doesn't work..

it is the same as telling me to give up loving you

it is impossible

I work my life around waiting for your text messages to make sure you're ok...should you ever forget to text me back or not answer my call when you really need to, I would totally flip out

and do not blame me for the thorough scolding and lecturing that follows..

just be good and get well soon..

Thursday, May 6, 2010

when I count my blessings, I count you twice

I am not sure why at times it is so hard to see all of the good around me..

but when I take a moment and look outside of my little bubble, I always know that no matter how I get hormonal and wishy washy, Fariz loves me all the same...

and I thank God for blessing us with a strong union

and I thank you sayang, for loving me more than I deserve

"My life would suck without you", really...

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

try sleeping with a broken heart

Fariz is too tired and unwell to entertain my rantings tonight..I have so much to say, but maybe too angry to be able to stay reasonable..sigh

You know, how everybody tells us that honesty and sincerity are the keys to a happy couple? but how is it that some things are just better left unspoken?

Don't get me wrong. I am not suggesting that I would lie to the person I love the most..but it gets me thinking that maybe I should learn to bite my tongue and keep my mouth shut for the sake of romantic bliss

So tonight, I’m gonna find a way to make it without you
Tonight, I’m gonna find a way to make it without you
I’m gonna hold on to the times that we had
Tonight, I’m gonna find a way to make it without you

head over meals

I wish I can have my every meal with you.....
because you make it feels like every meal is Happy Meal :)

I am not the healthiest eater to begin with..nor do I think Fariz really watches over his diet anyway..but what is it about being in a relationship that makes us gain more weight? :p

either we eat out more to celebrate because dining with someone is always more fun, and we don’t feel as guilty about 'pigging' in fatty foods because someone else is too

or simply because

we lose weight to attract a mate, and then when we have them, we get out of that "attract them" mentality, and we relax.

that could be it

but I still rather be fat and happy than slim and sad!!

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

emo rantings (again)

Quote of the day:
After all, people who belong together stay together despite major setbacks and disagreements. They may deal in fault and blame temporarily, but ultimately they work things out. -Emily Giffin

I live in my own frothy little bubble..but not like those strong and fat rubber balloons, mine is made with a flimsy kind of charm that burst so easily...

Let me tell you, things are swinging pretty well at the moment. Even if it doesnt get any better, I am completely happy this way....there are so many little things that Fariz do everyday makes me want to melt into a puddle on the floor and never get up..

but life gets a little bit more than frustrating at times, because whatever I do, there will always be somebody or something that intervenes my bubble and make it go pop!.. either that, bubbles inescapably vanish anyway.. all I can do is try not to let my mind stop me from a having a good time.. mind over matter, mind over matter...

and of course at times I feel like falling into a dark black hole, Fariz's usual words of comforting wisdom goes a long way..It's funny how when he speaks every other trouble that plagues my mind seem to dissolve into nothing..he puts my soul at ease..


thank you sayang
thank you sebab sangat-sangat baik and sabar aaaallll the time

and sorry cause my crazy emotional needs always make you so confused

but you're supposed to :)
coz if you are not confused, then you are not paying attention, haaa!

yeah.. I am that complicated :p

Monday, May 3, 2010


First off, this post contains puke worthy content so I shall begin with an apology for the public display of affection you're about to see :p.. hit the 'x' over the right top corner if you please..

yahoo message archive dated 7/10/09
before we started going out and officially a couple

punktechz: haih.. u tau tak i teringat2 kat u tadi
punktechz: but i figure out this thing , hmm
punktechz: complicated la i ni. betul ke i orang yg u cari ni sya. :) ehmm..
punktechz: i rase i pegi jb end of this year kot.
syazana: ??? y are u thinking of this?

punktechz: tak tahu.. but u ade dlm otak i setiap mase la
syazana: :) y are u worried?
punktechz: smp i dah start fikir yg i nak pegi jb cari u.. and spend time dgn u..hmmm
syazana: u tak comfortable ke with things as they r now?
punktechz: selese. sbb tu i keep on fikir pasal u kot

syazana: ok. so just go with the flow
punktechz: ok
syazana: am i causing stress to u?
punktechz: no..

syazana: but y are u confused? what did i do to confuse u?
punktechz: sbb i tak jumpe u lagi.. tapi u dah ade dalam otak i
punktechz: u tak rase weird ke?
syazana: honestly, tak weird pun
syazana: coz i rasa i think of u jugak all the time.. u occupy most of my thinking
punktechz: owh thank u.
punktechz: that is so sweet.. ok so ape yg i rase normal la ek? hmm
syazana: nothing strange, that's perfectly normal

punktechz: u tak marah ke bile i cakap i confuse? i mean.. kalau perempuan.. biase kot rasa confuse
punktechz: tapi lelaki.. u tak rase pelik? sbb i rase pelik dgn ape i rase skrg la
syazana: ermm tak, tp i tak faham sgt kenapa u confused
syazana: what are u scared of? hurting me or hurting urself?

punktechz: u tak takut bile i dah start suke u nanti kejap2 i ade kat johor?
syazana: tak lansung, i'd be the happiest girl on earth
punktechz: hehe ok :)
punktechz: i kene bagi tau u awal2.. bile i start suke someone.. i kind of mcm .. akan do everything for her la..
syazana: like wise
punktechz: so u better.. hmm careful kot. hehe
syazana: im capable of doing that too
syazana: fariz..i think ure too careful :)
punktechz: hmm.. sorry tau i rase mcm ni..
punktechz: i sometimes takut i terlalu dumbass sbb tak realize it was u yg i tggu slame ni. takut.. tapi..
punktechz: ish kite tukar topic. nanti i fikir fikir fikir.. pastu tak boleh tido
syazana: ok b4 that listen here im reading this book that says: but how will i know who is my soulmate?
syazana: by taking risk
syazana: by risking failure, dissapointment, dillusion
syazana: but never ceasing in ur search for love :)

punktechz: ok :) thank u. i will remember that

syazana: so u wana go rest now?
punktechz: ehemm. i think i should. thank u..u calm me down..

syazana: :) my pleasure

punktechz: i akan pastikan i dapatkan u :)
punktechz: and i nak u tau .. deep inside i happy juge kot

syazana: i find myself happier since u came into my life too
syazana: so tq :)

Sunday, May 2, 2010


well hello. yaylo. lo and behold!

my hot hunkie is swinging in and singing again! fwwaaah!

yeah that was fast. apparently he is not as feebly as he always sound to be ^^

and he is in the mood to Fall in Love Again?! :)

And I wanna fall in love with you again
I don't have to try
It's so easy who needs to pretend
But because
It's so funny let's just think about it honey
Let's just fall in love again

Saturday, May 1, 2010

snort.sniffle.and sneeze.

Uh, oh. There it is again, that annoying tingle in your throat..and your nose starts to water...HAACHOO! Once and then again. A cold...

Fariz is down with a dreadful cold...owh how that breaks my heart :(
he mentioned about going to see his doctor yesterday..and I must say this: I just cant help from secretly feeling a tad bit annoyed...

Seriously, I can't believe so many people go to the doctor for a cold!!! and how many people still thinks that antibiotic is a miracle cure for everything!

I believe most of the people that I know can relate to this..Yes I mean you you and you, my fellow drug experts

The doctors are only half the problem. Though they should not capitulate to the pressure when prescribing, patients too need to get a grip and STOP expecting antibiotic for every time they catch a cold...

So please people, stop being such a wimp!

Common cold needs common sense!!!
Maybe some pain killers and antihistamines but not antibiotics! Just let it run it's course, drink lots of fluids and get extra rest..

I remember 'educating' Fariz about cold versus flu..and how antibiotics don't work against viruses..I even made an attempt to explain antibiotic resistance, which now I doubt that I ever made any sense to him :(

Perhaps it's about time for some campaign. I love the posters by NHS. I remember seeing them on the walls of the underground and on London buses. We really should have them here.