the walking doll

I woke up beautifully this morning (without the shrilling tones of my alarm clock) but as I peeked into the mirror.. OMG I looked like I have an electrocuted mop sitting on my head!

it is on bad-hair-days like today, that I actually feel glad I have tudungs to wear hehe

anyway I've been contemplating to get my hair done since forever coz we're on a tight budget at the moment and hair treatments are just so expensive nowadays, especially after considering that it isn't absolutely necessary..

but today I just can't stand the frizziness anymore that I don't even feel like combing it and I need to tame it down badly, so off I went to call Fariz, to consult and complain...

Me: I really reallyy need to do something with my hair. I look like a lion! Grrrr..

Fariz: ok, boleh sayang..Apa saja yang boleh buat you lagi cantik..

Me: hehehe. ok I promise I won't spend more than 400

and so off I went...to the salon looking like this:

a lion + a panda (referring to the dark circle under my eyes)

it felt really nice to have somebody stroking my hair and pulling it gently..ahhh

and after almost 4 freaking hours..of flipping old magazines, staring at the mirror and making faces, crossing legs, sitting with legs on the chair, texting Fariz, wiggling left and right, yawning and almost falling asleep..

tadaaaa....

a lion no more but still slightly panda-ish

and I even made friends with the hairdresser :)

actually he is the one with the lion hair, here's a close up:


He asked for my facebook coz he wanted to show me to his girlfriend. for God knows why..

anyway hello Kenji!! *waves*
I love my new hair, thanks! and Good luck to opening your own new salon!

I left the hair salon feeling rejuvenated and my head ten pounds lighter..but somehow as I start to walk around the mall again I felt 'naked'

and then I thought...
owh I forgot to put back on my tudung!
*smacks forehead*

No wonder some people were even staring haha

Mommy said I look like a walking doll..obviously, that is her way of saying that I'm cute :p

(sorry, feeling a bit vain today, bluueeek!)

Falling in love at a coffee shop

Here's to share with you the song Fariz's been humming and singing a lot to me lately:

I think that possibly
Maybe I'm falling for you
Yes there's a chance that I've fallen quite hard over you

I've seen the waters that make your eyes shine
Now I'm shining too

Because
Oh
Because I've fallen quite hard over you

If I didn't know you I'd rather not know
If I couldn't have you I'd rather be alone

I never knew just what it was about this old coffee shop I love so much
All of the while I never knew 

sunny side up!

I have reached a stage in my life where suddenly, kitchen appliances appear more appealing than fancy dresses and cute tops.

haha you wish!

I told you I am a big girl now, although I still have a lot of growing up to do :p

because today instead of browsing through my much needed daily dose of fashion blogs and polyvore or lookbook.nu I found myself channeling to a new interest..

and thanks to google topped up with my hardcore browsing skill, I found these:



I mean if I were really to cook one day, I might as well start with making breakfast, no? if I ever get up that early la, that is..

as you would have guessed, I am no domestic goddess. Fariz might not be that lucky in this sense..but it's not as if that's a crime against nature. been reminding Fariz a lot about this so that he has a crystal clear picture of what NOT to expect. I simply do things when "I feel like it" although I will have to try harder, I know.. because who else will do the freaking cooking, right?

a girl's got to do what a girl's got to do..pfft!

they say the way to a man's heart is through his tummy. I wonder if this lame theory still holds?

perhaps what they were really trying to say is that the way to make a man's heart STAY is through making him grow, ermm...sideways :p

now, that sounds better hehe...

jokes aside, maybe, just maybe what I really need is the gratification that comes from somebody else telling me how he loves my culinary creativity and kitchen creations. I will need to muster up my motivation and love for cooking & other chores but I quite believe that the instinct of a wife (and a mother) comes with age and the inevitable responsibilities of married life..So, why the hurry? the 'intuition' will come, slowly but surely..

Fariz didn't seem to go falling off his chair every time I mention this and so I guess cereal and milk for breakfast will do, as for now

and by the way I believe that domestic responsibilities should be shared equally. like fifty - fifty. Fariz has agreed to this (because he really is, sweet!) in which I hope is his way of saying that he will religiously make me homemade meals too, as required *batting eyelashes*

and also make me smoothies, ice-cream and pop-corn, whenever I feel like it..yumm!!


and maybe some pizza? (because Fariz was once a pizza boy, I must tell you)

sorry behind the pizza was somebody from my past. had to crop him off ,
because Fariz laaaaaagi handsome..ha ha ha!

life is hard

yeah yeah...

life is hard, nobody gets out of it alive -_-"

I am writing this in memory and in keeping memory of my dear aunt. been meaning to do this a week ago but I was at a loss for words to describe my sorrow at her passing which happened last Monday.

Now does that explains the terribly emotional week I had (everything just seemed to spiral into negativity since Monday!) and the reason why Mommy had to be away?

but anyway it was with shock and great sadness that I heard of her death. She wasn’t old by any means- certainly younger than Mommy and young enough to expect many more years to spend with her children and (maybe) grandkids, ahead of her. and oh she was such a beautiful person but it was her verve and zest for life that we especially loved about her :)

She shouldn't have gone too soon, really..

such an upbeat and lively person (and a waaaaaay coooler mom to her children than Mommy is to me) despite all the hardship and heartaches she had to put up with.. mustn't have gone too soon..

she wasn’t really well for the past year or so and clearly was going through a very tough time. I’m sorry for the pain but at least I found a little consolation that her suffering has now end..

so yes, maybe God loves her more..

but I should have really really really spend more time with her...talk to her or visit her, or buy her gifts or belanja her makan..

it is true that life is short and we don't seem to appreciate things until it is gone. But it doesn't truly sink in until it's one of your own/love ones that's taken well before their time ...

Mommy and my late aunt
I don't know when was this photo taken, probably during some stone age because I swear our kampung house was made of brick walls !?!

May Allah bless her soul and grant her a place in Jannah (paradise)
and to dear cuzzies, may the good and beautiful memories you have of her, help to sustain you in this difficult time..

p.s: seeing my parents aging and growing weaker, somehow aches.
I will never be ready to see them get hurt or fall sick (with a medical diagnosis that could kill)..
do you feel the same?
-_-"

Jewellery or Jewelery or Jewelry?

Clearly, I was more interested in the artificial jewelleries (I still don't know which spelling is correct -_-" but good ol wikipedia says jewellery is the legitimate spelling in the UK) over the genuine ones hehe




but anyway, I got my ring, yes! and of course not from Forever21, no! can't show you now though but if I do, I know ya'll go "owh uuhh aawww it's sooooooo Syazana" hehe..because it is! it's from the Enchanted series by Diamond and Gold PK, very fairytale-ish and princessy :)

There were many to choose from but I was really worried that I couldn't find what I want. Deep down inside, I was even more worried that I would fall in love with the 'ring' that I couldn't get. If that's the case the 'ring' might even haunt me in my dreams *shudders*

The rings start from the price of my netbook and all the way to the moon hehe. I choose not to burden Fariz and was being an especially nice girl that day *pats self on the back*

Fariz didn't know this, but I consciously tried not to walk pass the glass shelves that had very expensive rings displayed in them, and even when we accidentally do, I shut my eyes to avoid my saliva from drooling all over the floor.. I know that lavishness will only tie us down in the long run..and after all it is not the ring I am getting married to, at the end Fariz is all that I really want :)

also at the jewellery shop, I did had to try on a few gold bracelets because Mommy said Fariz must get me one, on top of the wedding ring itself.

but euuwww, lots and lots of yellow gold jewellery... :yuck!: like seriously..Can't believe how tacky they looked on me!!! :(

I kept on shaking my head and mumbling 'tacky' to everything and Fariz didn't know what the word tacky means, so it was hard to explain. I bet he was confused all the time we were there, too...

Like many other girls, I have always preferred white/silver over yellow gold but Mommy like all the moms in this world did fuss a little over this though. She is soooo NOT chic and old fashioned pffft!!

I might experiment with gold some day but I just don't know at the moment. Even if at the end we did leave the shop with a charm bracelet that I thought was at least cute (because it has a couple of heart shaped trinkets dangling on it awww), I am still not sure if I could ever pull it off and not look like my mom I come from the era of 60's LOL

and I do think appreciation towards gold things and its value comes with age .. which goes to show that I am just NOT ready to grow old, yet!

uurrghhh...

although if you observe close enough you should have noticed that I've been attempting to dress my age. I am wearing bigger/looser tops and have 'invested' in a couple of long skirts and maxi dresses now. and slowly giving up my favorite pinafore-style tops/short dresses that I usually wear with leggings :( and also bulky colourful fake girlie accessories (and the reason you see more of me in baju kurung at work of late hehe)



Look at my fish! it's huge coz I didn't pick the kiddies' meal,no and in my attempt to eat healthily, I asked for 'vegetables' instead of chips, haha

Yes it's about time to grow up

I can't forever be 26 and living like a 16, now can I?

but growing up doesn't mean growing apart and out of love, I hope....

because I am madly in love with you, Fariz Helmi and I don't want to stop
xoxo

here comes the sun

Forget about what I said yesterday. I just needed to rant badly and thank you for your time.

It is Friday and boy how glad I am that such a long dreadful week is almost coming to end. after being away for 5 days, mommy and dad are finally coming home tonight and normal life will resume.

There will be food on the table and someone to look forward and talk to after a hard day at work. Driving home at midnight won't be as scary as there will be someone waiting at the door. There will be no more sleepless nights, constant worrying about what to feed my picky-eater little sister, skipping tuition classes and shouting at her for playing too much computer and not wanting to go to bed on time..

kids nowadays.. *shakes head*

anyway, I still have got to work tomorrow but that's just because Fariz is having his finals this weekend so there is no point being available for him when he is not for me. So I might as well keep myself out of his way and get busy too..

but I shall be looking forward to Sunday night :) and Monday and Tuesday :):):)

Do NOT read

oh God, where do I begin

when things like this happen, I get so tempted to write about it. Nothing is quite as therapeutic as a long pointless rant..but now I'm just too tired to blog about anything in detail and I don't usually do this (complain about work on my blog) coz I don't want to be walking around the office knowing that people know about my honest thinking about this job (and some people-which goes to explain why I've never wrote anything about others here) but seriously, the shit that goes around here never fails to amuse me, never..

Geez, you know what ticks me off this time?~ people who are unnecessarily rude. those who never seem to be taught of manners and courtesy (at least to ladies) as if there is something funny, cool, clever or impressive about being a bl**dy mindless f***ing d*ck head a** hole to others..

Pardon my language. Fariz forbids me from swearing but he didn't say I can't cuss in my writing, so yeah until he issues another totally specific warning, give me some face will ya?...

and I was hyperventilating, shaking with anger, I felt heat on my face and almost told the guy to just freaking efff off (note that I said almost, which means I didn't..)

instead I hold back my anger (I swear part of me was scared by the thought that he might rape or rob me or something later on my way back home at midnight!)

because there was no point bringing myself down to his level, really. Mannerism is part of being a professional (he is not a dear colleague, not a customer, not a patient I don't what to call him lah) and ultimately the test of good manners is to be patient with bad ones

though it was hard of course not to offend him back
but it made me a waayyyyy bigger person, just by doing that!

shame on you..pffft! pffft! pfffft!

Sorry I am not my usual sweet-self tonight
It's been a hell of a week for me, just had to channel all this negativity somewhere you know

Life (and work). Always keeping me on my toes.

Valentine

the sun is in my heart~ I am ready for love

It's February! it's the month of loveeeeee... So, what's in store?

Fariz and I thought that our vday date will be the perfect time to go hunting for my wedding ring.. I am quite looking forward to it but that's just because with this mission accomplished, we will have one more big thing to CROSS OFF my never-ending list!

let's just say that I'm not a huge jewelery lover. To me, it'll be more of a chore than fun to pick what I want.. Even now, I am too busy trying to figure out what type of wedding ring will match my engagement one (wait..I don't even understand why I need another ring?!) and have been mentally preparing myself for how many options there will be and how expensive they'd be too.

although I know I won't exactly be spoilt for choices..coz the really pretty-to-die-for ones that I might probably find agreeable to my aesthetics, will cost wayyy beyond our $$$ means and so yeah, are out of the question, anyway -_-"

owh well, beggars can't be choosers, now can they?!

Lets just hope that the 'ring' (with a decent price tag that won't make Fariz cringe) will simply jump out at me and I might as well just be chuffed with it :)

Anyway, in lieu of Valentine's day that's coming up, lets kick start February with this song:
one of many Fariz's fav :)

Love, it's a special day
We should celebrate and appreciate
That you and me found something pretty neat
And I know some say this day is arbitrary

But it's a good excuse, put our love to use
Baby, I know what to do
Baby, I will love you
I'll love you, I'll love you

Love, I don't need those things
I don't need no ring
I don't need anything
But you with me
'Cause in your company
I feel happy, oh so happy and complete

My Sister's Keeper

I had seen My Sister's Keeper before, but yesterday it still made me cry when I watched it again. In fact I was thoroughly pulled into the book too. Not that the story is relevant or personal to me in any way. Although I do have a love-hate relationship with my sister, but that's a different story all together since she is not sick or dying or anything. and huh thank God for that!...

I first came across the book in London and bought it right away. Can't remember why but I only made it half way through, though. Then a friend borrowed it and never returned it back..
However, being the 'avid-book-buyer' I am, I bought a second one from MPH a year ago and a collection of other Jodi Picoult's books too, just because they had pretty nice homogeneous covers which made me feel that I need to own them, all... Hehe

because...I DO judge books by its covers (and people by the way they look, sorry). I mean come on don't lie, we're visual beings after all, no?

Anyway..Ok so now since I've read the book cover to cover and watched the movie thrice, I can tell you what's it about!

Ever heard of a designer baby?

My Sister's Keeper is the story of an 11 year-old (13 in the book version) Anna, who was born for a very specific purpose: to help her older sister, Kate. She was created as a perfect genetic match to Kate. and for her whole life she was made to donate blood and bone marrow to help fight Kate's leukemia. Until at one point, when Anna is expected to give away a kidney to Kate, she decides to sue her parents for medical emancipation and regain control over her body and her life.

all the way through, the film adaptation wasn't exactly true to the book. They boasts a completely different ending by making it Hollywood-esque of course which is easier to accept and kinda more expected but no less heartbreaking *sobs*

well yeah if you need a good cry, get the book and sorry you can't borrow mine (coz believe it or not I have already bought half-a dozen of some same book, twice) or watch the movie if you're too lazy to read, that is.