closing the gap

awwww I think God reads my blog!! ;p

I felt miserable yesterday, but not anymore now!


The great news came in this morning, but until now I still need to constantly pinch my flesh to affirm that I am not just dreaming. Fariz and I are both giddy that all we can talk about today revolves around how nice it will be to start living together for real and to finally settle down.

Fariz said that he'll make a list of all the restaurants we want to try, movies we want to watch, places we want to go to and happy foods to fill our fridge with :)
I on the other hand will need more lingerie and cute PJ's :)))

but anyway the official letter hasn't been issued yet so let's just not jinx it, shall we?!!!

put up with the rain if you want the rainbow

Long distance relationship never gets any easier, we just get tougher. or do we?? It seems to me that I should be better at this saying goodbye thing given the many times I have had to do it over the past many many months (8 to be exact). But I am not. Sending Fariz off or seeing myself leaving every Sunday evening still makes me sad. Sometimes I cry, sometimes I don't but there's always a pit in my stomach and an indescribable emptiness that is worse than any tears.

apparently the transfer is taking a lot longer than I thought. and as crazy as this might sound, I have now reached a point where I am convinced that the government (or who ever) is so slow it is like they are deliberately trying to rip our marriage apart :( and you know what bothers me the most? -the unknown..When can we be together? Everyone knows we will eventually be, but how long more will it take?

and isn't it just NOT FAIR that we're missing out on all the fun of early married life!! I hate you distance you're a b****


p.s: I will write more when I'm in love with the world again
till then....

Single versus married life

When I don't write, I read :)

and thanks to my hardcore googling skill, I found a cute story via islamicexperiences.com that has made my day, today!!

One dark night in the streets of Istanbul, Turkey walked two strangers and clashed into one another.

It was no other than Single Life and Married life. They both come across one another. Married life falls on the ground and single life yells at him. "Hey! Can't you see where you are going?"

Married Life remains silent and starts walking towards his destination. Single life stands right there looking at Married Life walk in pain. He realizes his mistake and how rude he was to him in anger. While moving forward he steps on to something. He looks at the road and finds a cellphone. He calls out to Married life and goes after him.


He apologizes to Married Life and gives him his cellphone. Married life says, "It's alright. I have learned to be patient especially when someone is angry. Don't worry about it. I forgave you already".

Single life looks at him in amazement. "How come? I have never seen any of my friends forgiving me like this. I am no one but a stranger to you. Besides, I was so rude to you. You fell on the road! Aren't you angry with me? You are so patient! May Allah bless you!"

Married life smiles and thanks him for returning his cell phone. He looks at single life and asks him what's wrong. Single life looked upset and frustrated.

Single life: Let's go sit down at the bench. I will tell you.

[Married and single life both sit down together.]

Single life: I don't know. It's just life is getting nowhere for me. I go to the university in the morning and work in the evening. I always feel something is missing in me. Something is quite not right about the way my life is going. I feel lonely all the time although I have so many friends. I could go to a party with so many people around but I don't feel happy. I feel alone. That's all. Nothing much really.

Married life: You should get married.

Single Life (falls off the chair): "Aaaah what?" What did you say?

Married Life: Yeah! You should get married. Marriage is half your deen. It looks like you are missing your other half.

Single life: Oh! I don't know. Are you married?

Married life: Yes.

Single life: MashaAllah it must be nice! You have a companion for a life. You are so lucky!! Life must be so good for you?

Married life: No! It's not the way you think it is. Before when I was single, I used to look up to the married couples. When it was my turn, I was so excited. After marriage, I hated my decision. When I was single, I had so much fun. I had time for my friends. I could play video games all day, come home at night. I had so much freedom. After marriage, my whole life changed. I had to become so patient and it's nothing about me. I fell in love and all I can think of is how to give happiness to my other half. There is no "me" anymore. I can't even go out wherever I want. I have to tell my wife everything. It's such a drag. Single life was so much better.

Single life: You mean after I get married, I would prefer my single life over married life? I think you are wrong!!

[Single life and Married life get into an argument]

Married life: Okay, you want to get married then?

Single life: Yes!! Absolutely!! I want to get married inshaAllah. Life would be so easy.

Married life: It takes more than that. Life is never easy. The day I got married, my wife always woke me up for Tahajjud prayer even though I as so tired from work!!

Single life: How did you feel after praying Tahajjud?

Married life: I actually felt good and more closer to Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala.

Single life: Okay.

Married Life: I don't like my wife's cooking? She doesn't know how to cook. She makes me go on a diet and gives me all healthy food!!

Single life: How were you when you were single?

Married life: I was fat but now I am in good shape Alhamdulillah.

Single life: Hmm…How does your wife treat you?

Married life: She takes good care of me. I have no complains. She tells me everything and I admire her honesty.

Single life: Then? What is wrong with your life?

Married life: Yeah…I never thought of it that way. My life is better than yours.

Single life: Do you know how miserable I feel?

Married life: No I don't. Listen, today I learned something from you and you learned something from me. We both have Alhamdulillah. Make lots of Dua's. InshaAllah get married soon. Marriage teaches you things that you never would have learned by yourself. It completes you. At times when I don't wake up for Fajr prayer, my wife would wake me up and I do the same for her. We both help each other with our mistakes and try to get better. If I do wrong, she tells me. When she does wrong, I tell her. I do not like to hurt her feelings so I say it in a kind way. The best part is we understand each other. My wife takes good care of me. At times we do fight, but at the end of the day we are together. I cannot imagine myself without her.

[Tears come out of Single life's eyes.]

Single Life: I am so getting married soon inshaAllah and I will invite you. Jazak Allahu Khayran.

Married Life: May Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala grant you a pious spouse Ameen

"God turns you from one feeling to another and teaches you by means of opposites, so that you will have two wings to fly - not one."- Rumi

oct/nov in pictures

Yay lots and lots of pictures to make up for my absence from blogging!

are you ready?

1. Penang getaway :)

Remember I once wished for a relaxing stay-in-bed honeymoon as opposed to the first one we had which involved a lot of going out and seeing places? I got exactly what I asked for. Caught a terrible cold on the way up north and ended up bed-ridden for almost the entire trip :(

So, morale of the story: be careful for what you wish for!

but luckily the hotel room was very nice that it'll be a waste to go out!

the self-confessed nasi kandar-freak in the picture above was clearly the happiest to find himself in this curry and Indian food fantasy land.

me? let’s just say I still don’t get what’s all the fuss about -__-" or maybe I'm just racist like that HAHAHA

So I settled with my usual 'happy' food :)

and then later that night, mr. nasi kandar-freak savagely enjoyed nasi kandar again for dinner and in a few blinks everything was gone from his plate!

such a huge curry fan he is and for the next few days as you can imagine, I went worrying and nagging obsessively over our 'curry incompatibility'!

but I like kuey teow though, a lot. so maybe I'll learn how to make this first before curry :p

Ummm.. this is my highschool BFF who hasn't seemed to grow since..highschool!!! too skinny already so please go and eat more nasi kandar ok, babe! and yes sure take Fariz along with you ;p


2. 6-monthiversary

Fariz and I have made it to the 6-month mark in October (that's 2 years since he started courting aww!) and yes I know that’s no biggie to you old pros out there, but hey, we’re infants in the world of marriage and this is a milestone for us! and hence a movie (Real Steel was awesome!), some shopping and a delicious lunch to celebrate:)


3. Eid Ul Adha

Ummm...we spent Eid at Fariz's hometown again...yes 2 consecutive Eids with his family so, ummm..I think he must've drugged me or something wtf or I'm just nice ;p Took many pictures around the house but without headscarf and Fariz doesn't allow that for public viewing so yeah, this is all I have from what's left:

enough to prove that I was there, no? ;p

4. Growing old!

andd...recently, I plopped another buttcheek into the realm of adulthood. A year older now, and I wish I can say a lot wiser too!

yay! another item to tick off my never ending wish list :) thank you sayang, you pamper me so much sometimes I think I'm bullying you HAHAHA!

and thank you God for another year in my life. I promise to love and laugh.

my waiting

I never intended to go this long between posts, but sometimes I guess not a lot of things in my life are "blog worthy". Life is just life sometimes and it's not that interesting. and that's what life now is to me -- mundane. I go to work. I come home from work. and come Friday night I happily put on my wife's hat and finally feel alive and kicking. but even on weekends not every meal seems exciting , not every time we go shopping I ended up buying anything :( and not much has changed with my life.

I am still waiting (not so patiently anymore) for transfer and I'm not pregnant.

so, sheeesh.....

but owh well, at least marriage life is like a walk in the park (with occasional slips and falls of course). It's not like there are constant fireworks or anything, but I can say with more conviction than ever that I have a fantastic husband who is my rock, my support system that I know I can depend on and the one constant in my life that I love so much. He picks me up when I hit rock bottom and he fixes me when I'm broken-- I just could never ever imagine doing this journey with anyone else.

..and so yes though I know I have a number of things to be thankful for, I am praying for the day that I can come home to him after a long day at work, to feel the stubble on his chin as he kisses my neck, to see his chest rise up and down as he breathes the same air I do and to smell the fresh scent of soap on his skin after each shower..and to die happy waking up every morning in his arm!

God, I LOOOOOVE Fariz Helmi so much!!!

come what may, come what may. I will love you till my dying day..

home

Ahh, home

Let me go home

Home is wherever I'm with you

Ahh, home

Let me go home

Home is where I'm alone with you

I love...

a head rub when I'm sick. chocolates for no reason. a very very late breakfast or no breakfast. forehead kisses. lots of kisses. french kisses. a long drive with the windows down. flowers just because. tickles and laughter. brushing teeth together. singing love songs to each other. your guitar. the sound of your guitar. text messages to say “i love you”. pillow talks. a perfect photo. falling asleep face to face. early morning cuddles. holding hands. crossing legs with you. a lunch date. popcorns and watching movies. piggy back rides. love notes. making plans. talking about uncertain times. dressing up. dressing down. dreaming of traveling. dreaming of a big house. buying something new. the sound of you asleep. you smiling. McDonald's delivery. a rainy day. after shower. Sunday sleep-ins. weeping on your chest. checking in hotel rooms. reading. praying together. a pinky promises. saying sorry. the smell of your coffee. calling your name. making faces. love stories. your strong shoulders. fresh air. you and me. us. just the two of us.

the rainbow after rain

When a person juggles between a full-time career and part-time education, it is either he makes it work or he makes it work. Yes, he doesn't have a choice but to make it work.

and guess who did just that and graduated? (with flying colours if I may add)

Well, his name is Fariz and my heart is his :)

Thank God for a husband so brilliant and bright! I am so proud of you Sayang!

but owh look at that~ Fariz's infamous receding hairline! *gasp*

it's true as you grow older, not only you grow wiser but as a sign of wisdom, you start losing hair too hahaha but anyway some guys look good bald and here's hoping he is one! or else he's gonna have a big hat collection YAY!! >_<

the best I could've ever asked for

Today, I (finally) feel like writing.

and it's October already! *gasp* where did all the time go?

truthfully, I must admit, it has been rather frustrating not being able to share with you the wee and woes of the wonderful person I've been married to..At 6 months (well, almost), Fariz and I are still doing great. We've had quite a rollercoaster ride really and although true, he might be the most wonderful person in this world I would ever have encountered, I've come to accept that Fariz isn't perfect and God knows I'm not either.

because I'm selfish and I'm difficult. and even I wouldn't marry me -__-"

and I'm also an idealist. I would've love to think that I can keep the 'honeymoon' going as long as I like, but owh well.. I can't because it doesn't. then again the passing of the honeymoon period isn't a bad thing. Sometimes it might mean that you've grown apart, but to us it means we've grown together. Somewhere along our journey we broke each other's heart and mended the other's cuts. and then we hit a groove but found a deep level of comfort within each other's heart. and as much as I think falling in love is great, I know loving unconditionally is even better..

and that's exactly what we're working on right now!

anyway although a tad bit early, happy 6 months 'young' sayang.. and here's to many many more months years to come!!

my current favorite quote! HAHAHA

except that NO I didn't regret what I 'ordered'..it's 'delicious'...

.. and the best I could have ever asked for :)

another Raya quickie!!!

Less than 24 hours before Fariz says goodbye. Time is a pesky thing...when you wait for it to pass, it drags itself like snail. but when you want it to stop, it flies away!

sigh...

anyway here's Eid at home :) I'm too lazy for words, so I'll make up with pictures ok? and WARNING! heaps (and I mean heaaaaps) of eye-piercing colours ahead :)


Another warm and beautiful Eid, may there be more to come :)