falling into place

So April is finally here and I am sorry for keeping this blog idle for quite awhile. Apparently I've been too busy living to bother writing about it.

Anyway,

1. it finally happened: I had my very first total major bridal melt-down..Trying to convince myself that things will be fine when everything else is pointing in the opposite direction, isn't exactly the easiest thing to do. and me being fickle minded certainly doesn't help.

2. I like to think that I am not a bridezilla (or at least not a full-blown bridezilla)...but turned out it does bother the heck out of me when my dress looks more gold than champagne and the roses are red and not pink. just couldn't help but to want things the way I want things and trust me, even I don't know myself anymore now..

3. Against all odds, on most nights I still go to bed with the biggest smile I can possibly pull off. . and I found the best consolation in the fact that Fariz has remained remarkably dotting and loving (despite being emotionally and verbally treated like a punching bag)

I am sorry Sayang! -__-"

but anyway, no matter how calm and controlled Fariz may seem, clearly stress has taken its toll on his skin.. Like it or not, slap on some more tea tree oil could you please!!!!! or just dip your head into the bottle grrr...

I swear this picture is unedited!

4. Fariz aside, my circle of friends (you girls know who you are) has a very small diameter but gotta say that they remind me of how lucky I am to have them in my life. So while I am at this, I won't possibly miss this chance to say THANK YOU so so much for always checking on me to make sure I am ok, dropping me emails and texting to wish me well. and thank you for being part of the love story :) You all made me realized that at the end the best things in life are still free...

5. but ermm..speaking of friends..LY is leaving me !!! there will be no more chocolates and love notes lying around the office for me after this:( Nobody to bring me mamee monster..nobody to have cookies and cheesecake with..Nobody left to rant with about life, love and work anymore:( sigh.. as much as I believe that I don't deserve to even be her friend, I must have done something really good because I end up with a BFF like her! she is sugar and spice and everything nice! it hurts to think that our time is up and now we need to move on..

so, who wants to be my girlfriend next?! I promise I will sayang you a lot :p

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oh my, I still have a lot to say but until everything starts to slow down and I have nothing better to do than sit in front of my computer, please do not expect much from me anymore..

and I am lazy to finish this off decently so I guess it's suffice to say that actually I AM OK and THANKS FOR ASKING! (to those who asked)

Fariz said "even Cinderella pun stress about her wedding". haha of course I don't believe him! but I pretended to because I was touched at his futile attempt to make me feel better..

THANK YOU SAYANG!

thank you for all the love you shower me with :)

thank you for being there to remind me WHY I am doing this in the first place..

thank you for tolerating my whims, my mood swings and occasional "I-don't-want-to-marry-you-anymore" drama hahaha..

..truth is, even at the moment I turn into a royal bitch with my hopes and dreams, the last thing I want to do is to drive you away in my quest for 'perfection'

so thank you for standing strong!

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH